A year-long week without end

Dearest family and friends,

This week has been one of great trials. Davis has been fighting fevers all week. Every night has been full of meds, frequent temperature checks, cold wash cloths and little sleep. Davis became more symptomatic on Thursday and labs indicated that he needed blood and platelets? We spent 12 long hours in the clinic receiving the transfusions and were very glad to go home on Thursday night. Unfortunately, Friday brought more intense fevers, jaw pain, headaches and an admission. The first test was a CT scan to help determine the potential causes for the pain and headaches. The report is that there is no bleeding, however, there are pockets of infection in his head. Davis received two more bags of blood and two bags of platelets, before heading to surgery to do a biopsy to determine what type of infection and how to best treat.

I have found that it does not matter if your baby is little or big, watching them be wheeled away for surgery in lists my most tender mother emotions. It also brings out the intense protective mother bear in me. It is such a test of faith to hand their care over to strangers. I pray once again as I walk the quiet halls to the waiting room, that he will be watched over with love.

The flurry of activity and constant discussion of serious infections swirl about. It is intriguing to me to ponder life amidst a crisis. Life continues to revolve at a quick pace all around. Every once in a while, a silent still comes over my being as if to calm the raging emotions of helplessness. In those moments, I find the deepest need to refrain from the "what ifs", whys and how's of this life.

The thoughts of my deepest hopes and dreams for a child being on indefinite hold, at some moments frighten me. Often feelings of the unknown being far more challenging than the known. The ability to hope in crisis mode is exacerbated by the pressure to hold onto every hug, every kiss, every memory...every moment, just a bit tighter. The younger kids question "when will Davis' sickness go away," grasping for some semblance of normalcy. We have been so blessed with family and friends that continue to provide opportunities like miniature golf, Boondocks, play dates, eat-overs and late nights. The anticipation of an adventure always lifts their spirits from the monotony of this illness.

An inspired friend reminds me that we can find joy in our journey through this life, despite obstacles and severe earthy trials.

I have found that one method of finding joy in the moments is to not look too far to the future that you miss the present.

Sunday morning brings another round of platelets and a second surgery. His tender heart is worn a bit and we pray continuously. We will keep you posted. Thank you for the ever loving concern, support and prayers.