Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Many emotions filled my heart as the week of this birthday approached. Turning 16 is a huge right of passage and life changing age. The weeks surrounding this day were filled with "normal" anticipation and preparation for a birthday, however, deep down(and often right at the surface), this marked a milestone for me. The days proceeding Davis' birthday were filled with a horrible chest cold, a trip to PCMC, and labs. Despite being sick for a few weeks, and after humble prayers, some of Davis' labs were stronger than ever. A positive sign that his body is doing what it needs to in order to continue this recovery phase of life.
After such an experience of bad news after bad news, I almost have to retrain myself to accept the good news. Believe in it. I inwardly have held by breath with each lab drawn over the year and continue to......... This moment in time for me was one of the events of life that I questioned would ever take place for this boy. Although sustained in the middle of a crisis, the constant threat on his life did cause me to occasionally question the what ifs! I did not allow myself to visit that dark place but a few brief moments. In early December as I thought of this birthday, I was overcome with one such instance. I remember sitting in the waiting room for the fifth time in seven days, pure exhaustion had set in and I allowed the questions; what if he doesn't see again, what if he doesn't get to drive or go on his first date or to his first dance...then the realization, that he may not, and also the realization that I could not do anything about it, but be there, hold tight and have hope in that moment.
I am grateful that I had strength,support and the faith of this boy to remind me of the calm that can be felt if we just hope and breathe.
This month as we celebrate amazing labs, driving( which I have to say, he is a great driver), going to his first dance and being sixteen, I am constantly in awe at the wonder and miracles of life.
To my wonderful boy, I say thank you for being so believing and strong. You have worked so hard for your physical strength, and I am proud of your ability to maintain, grow and share your spiritual strength. I am so grateful for each and every day that I am your mother. You are a light in my world. I maintain the thought that describes you best; "Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle as real strength." You are my hero and I love you.
One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles
possesses the only strength
which can overcome adversity.
-Albert Schweitzer
