Beat it or be beaten

Every once in a while in adversity sometimes we think we don't have choices. Right now I feel like a lot of my choices are being made for me. I know that ultimately... yes mom, sometimes I can use big words... that everyday I have to make the choice to try and beat this, or be beaten. A lot of the time when I'm having the symptoms, the pain, the headaches, the stomache aches, the reactions, or even just think about all that I'm going through, I just feel like curling up into a ball. But I have learned that does me no good.

When I walk down the halls at Primary Childrens I see little kids who have gone through more than I have. I see people who are in a worse condition than I am. I feel bad for myself when I think about the sports that I'm missing out on, the things that I could be doing, not being with my friends. But then I see people who have never had the chance to do any of those things, play sports, be with friends, all the things i used to just take for granted and not even think about. It humbles me and makes me realize that no matter how bad I feel, how bad I"m doing, that there is always going to be someone doing better than me, and there is always going to be someone that is doing worse.

I have learned that we can't let the things that we can't change affect how we deal with things. This disease is obviously going to change my life whether I like it or not. I need to make the best of it and do as much as I can to enjoy myself and not let it slow me down.. too much. I have found that the best way to not have as much pain when you are in pain.. is to not think about it. The best way to not throw up when you have a horrible stomache ache, is to not think that you're going to. The best way to not feel like curling up into a ball and doing nothing and something that just helps me through everything.. is to not feel bad for myself and be grateful for what I do have and can do.

Love, Davis